Unforgiving
by ShockValueAuthor
Summary: This is one of my darker fanfictions. Please bear with me; I need reviews. Kikohna OC is a girl with a twisted past. Confusion unfolds, times of pain and hope come to light... Includes portions from the actual storyline. Rated M. See story . SVA
1. Falling

Chapter I- Falling

Cherry blossoms were falling from the trees, soft hues of color slipping away from the sky and giving in to night. The petals were blowing around in the faint breeze, barely noticeable until they hit the light of a street lamp. It was tranquil, as it had been these past few nights.

Sitting in one of the trees was a young woman, lithe in body, leaning her back against the main trunk of the tree while perched up on another branch. Strands of her long ebony hair were cascading to and fro around her face; like little black spider webs, they were so fine. Her skin was pale in the moonlight, and her eyes heavy-lidded in thought.

She hated every moment of the quiet.

"Maybe I am to live as dead as stone, where my heart is set and my life is not mine to live…" She whispered, catching a petal in her hand and stroking it with her thumb gingerly.

What innocence did she have anymore? What was the point? Everything was ruined now…because of her mistakes.

"I am your little lovely, broken to bits…" She sang softly, "You've hurt me and I know you couldn't care less…"

Her grip on the petal tightened, and its delicate frame crumpled. Opening her hand, she looked at it. It was still beautiful, but you could tell there was a difference.

Just like her.

Jumping off the tree she landed gracefully on the ground, her feet landing near the small bubbling creek beside the tree. Kneeling, she bent over slightly to look at herself. Dark eyes looked over every detail that they saw. Lank hair, listless eyes, pale skin; and worst of all… The bruises on her neck and wrists were still there. She sighed and stood up, glancing over to the doors partially hidden by the ground.

She had to go back.

Again.

***

Walking slowly to the door she thought hard about everything that would probably happen as soon as she stepped past the threshold. Disaster, most likely, and she didn't want to deal with it. She never did.

Opening the door, she stepped inside and shut it firmly. Moving down the main corridor she glanced over to the sides of the hallway, noticing the blank, empty stares of the prisoners behind the iron bars of their cells.

"Can't you let us go…?" A young man asked quietly.

She stopped in front of his cell and spoke gently. "I wish I could. I'm sorry."

With that she turned down another hallway, and into a room filled with candles. A man was sitting in the chair near the wall straight ahead from her.

A low chuckle sounded throughout the room. "Out stargazing again, my dear?"

A pale-skinned man with long black hair, not unlike hers, stood up from the chair and walked over to her, standing merely a few feet away from where she was standing. Golden eyes bore into her black ones.

She made a small bow. "Orochimaru-sama." She said softly.

He grinned slightly. "Such respect. That's impressive, especially since you are known for being so… incompetent."

She was silent to this.

"No response?" He chided, "How depressing." Moving closer he quickly grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled it roughly, slamming her into the wall behind her.

"You should answer when you are spoken to," He hissed. "It's not polite to ignore people."

Her head was swimming from the impact. "You don't deserve my respect." The words escaped her before she could stop them.

His eyes flashed briefly, and he let her go. She was about to run for it, until he wrapped a hand around her neck and threw her onto the floor. She heard a snap from her wrist, and she did her best not to cry out.

It would only make him enjoy it more.

He laughed. "I believe you don't understand your position, _daughter_," He said darkly. Picking her up he pushed her against the wall by her neck, and lowered his lips to her ear.

"In the end, you'll appreciate this," He whispered. "Cruelty goes best with bitterness, and we all know how bitter you are." After saying this, he lashed out a hand and struck her hard across the face. Everything started to go black…

Orochimaru watched amusedly as she drifted off into unconsciousness. He called someone into the room, and ordered them to take her to her room. Faintly she heard him speak.

He smiled as she was carried out. "In the end, you are only a weak little girl."

***

She awoke in the waking hours of morning, and her head swam. Her head felt like it was going to explode.

Getting up out of her bed, she stumbled for a moment, walking over to her dresser and opening a drawer.

The knife was still there.

She stared at the blade, contemplating her soon to be action. Was she really that weak? Was she really that desperate to feel a different pain?

Picking the knife up, she gripped it hard, her hand poised for movement. Moving up her sleeve she let out a small sigh. Ragged scars covered her arm, though they were disappearing slowly thanks to her medical Ninjutsu.

Bringing the edge of the knife closer to her wrist, she pressed the blade to her skin and drew it across her flesh in a swift slice. Blood was trickling down in tiny rivulets down her wrist; the pain throbbed throughout her body, making a small compressed leak of air escape past her lips, not enough to be called a moan.

It was euphoric.

She placed more slashes on her skin, thinking of past memories as she did so; flashbacks swirling around in her head until she couldn't even see straight.

_He laughed as she hit the floor. 'You are pathetic. You are bitter, and that makes you strong. But still you are too weak.'_

'_You can't best me- Fight all you want… I'll only break you faster.' He came closer to her, suddenly lifting her up and striking her hard across the face; she could taste blood on her breath, the fluid itself dripping out of her mouth…_

That wasn't the first time it had happened either.

_She remembered the first time he hit her; she had come back from a walk around the forest, admiring the trees and all their beauty. Birds had been chirping, flittering around quickly to here and there…_

_She never meant to come back so late. She had lost track of time, and quickly went back to apologize._

_Not that it worked. It only made him angrier._

'_Where were you?' He asked, clearly angry._

'_I just went for a walk, that's all.' She cleared her throat. 'I'm sorry for being so late.'_

_He chuckled and stood up from a chair. His eyes were narrowed and he practically spat his words at her. 'I don't believe you understand your position here…' His voice trailed off. She got a chill and stepped back slightly. He noticed and laughed._

'_My dear, you look frightened…' He stepped closer to her. 'Tell me… Does this scare you?'_

_He slapped her hard on the face, then punched her hard in the stomach; hard enough to make her fall and cough up blood._

'_W-Why?'_

'_Because you are weak.' He lifted her up by her hair and brought her close to him, his face near hers. 'And to apologize is a sign of weakness.' He laughed, his voice like a poison… Yes, an acrid poison that was drilling into her mind. _

'_How sad,' He said, throwing her to the floor, 'You spend all your time doing nothing… Just like your mother.'_

_She sprang up off the floor and swung at him, catching him off guard. Her fist grazed the side of his jaw, and then he caught her by the wrist and snapped it. She cried out harshly, and fell again, holding her wrist and holding back tears._

_He stood there and smiled, sharp teeth gleaming in the dim light. _

'_Such a weak girl.'_

_With that he left._

Putting a hand to her throat, she could feel it closing up from the swelling and resistance of shedding tears. She grimaced at the pain that shot through her body. And the worst part was that she was used to it this.

Her wrist had never recovered correctly, and he knew that. Which was seemingly the reason why he grabbed her there so often. Looking down at it she could see bruising in the shape of someone's grip; the skin painful to touch.

He had always found ways to torment her, be it psychologically or otherwise. And he was right…

She was weak.

And it disgusted her.


	2. Intrigue

Chapter II- Intrigue

---Twenty Years Earlier---

An ebony-haired woman stood beside the door of a teashop, catching up with a friend. The two were rapidly making up for lost time until a certain topic brought the other woman to an excited squeak.

"You've found someone? That's great!" She exclaimed. "I'm happy for you, Azura."

Azura gave a thin smile. "Thanks, but…" She sighed, "I don't think he even knows who I am…"

"Are you stalking him?"

"Of course not!"

"Then tell me who he is."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"Oh…" The other woman flicked her brown hair out of her face, grinning coyly ear to ear. "You're not trying to get in his _pants_, are you?"

"Shut it, Shinako."

She laughed. "Ha- you are, aren't you?"

"No." Azura said hotly. "Now shut up." Her gaze shifted over to the street lamps, the lights finally flickering to life. Many stores were already closed for the night, but the light from a small shop illuminated the silhouette of someone walking towards her direction.

"It's him…" She whispered.

"Who's who?" Shinako asked, clearly confused.

Walking a small distance away from them was a man with dark, long hair and pale skin. Golden eyes transferred their attention to the two women, then changed to look at a sign in a shopkeeper's window.

Shinako's eyes went about as wide as saucers. "Orochimaru? But he's- how could you even possibly…"

Azura looked down, unable to make eye contact with her friend. A blush faintly covered her face. "He's a great shinobi, and he's…handsome." She finished softly.

"WHAT?"

Orochimaru looked back to the women he had noticed before, slightly startled by the outburst from the one. He looked at the ebony-haired woman, catching her staring at him. Hastily she looked away, a very pronounced blush on her face.

'_Well, what is this…?'_ He said to himself, arching an eyebrow. After some debating, he casually began making his way down towards the two of them. The black-haired woman began to get fidgety.

"Oh…my God," Shinako said quietly. "He's coming over here."

Azura turned and frantically shook her friend by the shoulders. "Why did you have to yell? Now he probably thinks I'm some type of crazy bitch!"

"…Did you say something?"

In front of Azura was Orochimaru, standing a few feet away from her and her friend. He gave Shinako a disinterested look, then smiled at Azura.

"Orochimaru-sama," Azura said softly, "How are you?"

He stared at her for a moment, then spoke. "Adequate, I suppose. Yourself?"

Shinako became irritated at the look he was giving Azura; she knew Orochimaru was most likely dangerous. "Stop staring at her; it's rude."

He looked at Shinako. "What's your name?"

"Mitsumi Shinako." She said icily.

He turned to Azura. "And you?"

"Uchiha Azura, Orochimaru-sama."

He smiled to himself; this woman was very attractive, and obviously she had some type of affection for him. Not to mention she was respectful.

"I wouldn't mind someone to talk to while I finish my walk," He drawled out, "If you're interested."

Azura's eyes widened. So did Shinako's.

Shinako was the first to speak. "I've got somewhere to be. So no thank you."

He glanced over to Azura. "What about you?"

She smiled. "Of course."

Giving Shinako a small wave she started walking with Orochimaru, ignoring the glare her friend had directed towards her. This was possibly the only chance she had to get him to acknowledge her, and it wasn't an opportunity she was planning on passing up.

They kept walking when finally he said softly, "It's a rather lovely night, isn't it?"

She nodded, and by then and small part of her knew this was a mistake.

She just couldn't figure out why.


	3. Mistakes

Chapter III- Mistakes

Azura had become accustomed to accompanying Orochimaru around the village during his walks, and it thrilled her greatly that he was acknowledging her. People tended to stare, unfortunately, and a few even had looked shocked.

Was it really so hard to believe that he had a female companion during the day? It wasn't like she and him were together…

Though she kind of wished it would happen.

Orochimaru was different than any other man she had befriended, which was a sparse few anyway. But it was easy to tell the difference by his behavior. He didn't talk much, and she'd never heard him laugh, but she assumed it was because he never had many people that he socialized with. Actually, she doubted that he even _wanted_ to socialize; he seemed like more of an introvert.

They were walking around a few days later when he stopped in front of a teashop, not unlike the one near where they had first met. He turned to the side to face her direction.

"Would you like some tea?"

She nodded, noticing the shift in his voice. He almost sounded hopeful.

They went into the shop and sat down, him ordering green tea, hot sake, and a small dish of takoyaki. She ordered a small cup of oolong tea with mint.

As they were waiting for their server, Orochimaru leaned forward and propped his head on his hands, lacing his fingers together. He looked at Azura amusedly.

"So, why the fascination with me? I don't find myself to have anything that would impress a woman such as you…"

She looked at his face, careful not to stare.

He actually seemed curious.

"Um, well," Her mind went blank, trying to keep her from embarrassing herself. Not that it worked. "I've heard great things about your Ninjutsu, and you're very…"

He arched an eyebrow slightly. "I'm what?"

_Don't say it…_ "Attractive." She blurted out.

He laughed outright, causing the people in the shop, her included, to stare. No one ever heard him laugh like that, and when he did otherwise, it was normally not…a pleasant sound. Almost frightening.

He chuckled. "Am I now? That's a first."

She couldn't help it; she had to ask. "Why is it a first…?"

The server came back with their items, glancing at the two of them. He saw Orochimaru, with a _woman_, and she looked star-struck. She seemed to have taken a liking to him, which on its own was a concerning thought.

When the server left, Azura bowed her head, saying quietly, "Itadakimasu, Orochimaru-sama."

He smiled, sipping on a bit of the piping hot tea. He put the cup down. "There's no need to be so formal, Azura-chan. I'm as normal as you are, and you have already shown quite the respect for me. I hold no expectations of such formality with a friend." He motioned to the sake. "Would you care for some?"

Her brain did not register anything he said after the word 'friend' Snapping out of it, she pointed to the sake bottle, silently inquiring if she could drink it. He nodded his head slightly.

"Thank you." She poured a little sake into a small cup and shot the liquid down her throat quickly. It left a sweet burn in her mouth that she loved. "It's very good." She caught him staring at her. "What is it?"

He looked vaguely surprised. "Do you drink often?"

Her face flushed in embarrassment. "Ah, no, but when I do, I'm good at it." She glanced at him, then smiled lightly. "You never answered my question."

He tilted his head to the side and poured some sake, sipping it slowly afterwards from the little saucer. "It's simply because I hold no attraction for women, perhaps excluding you," He said, "And certainly not _men_ either."

She laughed. "Well, you are very handsome, to me at least, so does that count for something?"

"Orochimaru?"

Orochimaru's gaze shifted tiredly to the entrance of the shop. Azura noticed the annoyed look and turned to see the speaker. A man with white hair came in, holding something that looked like a book.

"What do you want, Jiraiya." It wasn't a question; more of a statement.

"Oh, nothing," Jiraiya said, eyeing Azura with interest. "Just seeing who's taken a liking to you." He let out a low whistle. "And she's an Uchiha to boot. Wow."

Azura's eyes widened. "How did you know that I was…"

Jiraiya laughed. "Oh, come on! Black hair and dark eyes, pale skin… And," He smiled smugly, "That scar says a lot too. That fight between two Uchiha women near the Mine Field area? Oh yeah; I definitely remember you…"

Azura's hand immediately went to her back; she hadn't realized it was showing. She was wearing a shirt that, granted, was a _little_ low cut in the front and back. But she didn't think that it was visible.

Orochimaru's eyes narrowed; he wasn't fond of Jiraiya's behavior. He saw Azura's hands shaking, though he couldn't tell if it was from anger or otherwise.

"So," Jiraiya pressed on, "Just how old are you, Azura-chan?"

This was not a question she wanted to answer. "That's none of your business," She said politely. She could feel her temper flaring up.

"Oh, Orochimaru," Jiraiya said, nudging his old teammate in the shoulder, "She's just as hot-headed as you! How adorable." He chuckled. "So, how long have you two been together?"

Azura choked on the tea she had been drinking. Finally Orochimaru started to get agitated.

"You need to leave, Jiraiya." He said calmly.

"Why?"

Orochimaru's voice became icy. "If you don't, I'm going to kill you."

Jiraiya noticed the coldness and took it seriously. "Alright, I'll go. Later Azura-chan." With that he left.

When she was sure he was gone, Azura whispered, "How did he know my name?"

"…I have no earthly idea." Orochimaru left some money on the table, glancing up at Azura. "Anywhere you'd like to go? I have no plans for the rest of the day."

"Neither do I." She smiled. "Anywhere quiet where we can talk?"

He gave a small twitch of his lips, almost a grin. Inwardly, she liked that expression. It made her get a small chill, but _definitely not_ from fear.

_Oh God, what is wrong with me?_

As they left the shop, Azura glanced over to her companion. "There's a little spot to rest at near the Falls; the water cools everything down, and it's very quiet. Would you like to walk there?"

He was silent for a moment, then chuckled. "That's alright with me, but on one condition."

_Oh no…_ "Yes?"

He motioned for her to start walking with him. They stayed quiet until he stopped after passing the Hot Springs.

He gave her a level stare. "Not to pry, but how old are you?" He smiled when she quickly avoided meeting his eyes. "Don't even think about lying; I'll know."

_What the hell am I supposed to do now…?_


End file.
